courageous and humbled

... that's what I hope to have become after our community's weekend retreat. Nothing compares to the joy and conviction I feel in my heart after God talked to me strongly and concretely about the two things... the two questions I have been carrying in my heart for so long. One is the question about being open to life. Hubby and I very much wanted to have another baby but there was fear for so many reasons. Another burden is about this particular person I consider my cross  --- I simply dislike her for reasons I cannot share out loud to protect her. All these time I thought it is her fault for being like this and like that. In this world's point of view, she is really crazy and irritating. The kind of irritation that will make you cry. She is my cross and I bet she knows because I feel that she does things to prove something to the world. But then this weekend I realized that God loves her as much as He loves me. And my judging and hating her is a form of slavery to sin. This sin brings me farther and farther away from Him. So today, I am happy to say that I will let that person be. In fact, I am praying that she will be truly and genuinely happy in whatever endeavor she wants to take. That she will be victorious and see how much she is loved by God. I pray too for myself. That I will stop looking at her and fix my eyes on Christ instead. He was crucified for the sins He didn't do. And just like Christ, I too will be resurrected :)

So now, what?

Nothing. I need not do anything. God does not need me to be number 1. I don't need to be a winner. To be cool to be a super woman. To be this and that. God loves me just the way I am. No labels. No titles.

I repeat. God loves me. Even when I suck. And he badly wants me to experience that kind of LOVE. So that all those fears will go away. Because He loves me and will take care of me. Because His will for me is the best and He knows what he is doing. I must not doubt. I must trust. I must relax.

That's why today, I lay down my concrete steps:

1) Hubby and I are open to life. In His grace.
2) I will always always pray for my cross. Kiss my cross. Adore my cross. It's very difficult I know but I can do it with God's help.

Oh how I praise and thank God for this FREEDOM.

... our community "class picture" I love to look at everyone's faces =)

... serious at scrutacio. 

... our dear cantors. Someday Miguel will be one of them. Amen.

... my treasures.

... Josephine and I playing while our responsibles and co-responsibles are serious and stressed haha!

... Theresa, so happy you were able to join us! 

... what a precious moment.

... w, Ate JJ! Migs couldn't smile coz his mouth is full! 

... love love love this moment at the table. The young ones taking turn to play while Kuya happily obliged =)

And what's a convivence without FOOD? Two days and two nights of diet-free buffet! Oh my! 

That's all! Until next time =) 

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